It begins, the most brutal fight of your life

Not long after I found out I was going to be a father the mother of my future child moved to the other side of the country to repatch things with her husband. I had no idea where to find her, and legally if a married woman gets pregnant the husband is automatically deemed the father. I could have walked away right then, case closed, but I'm just not built like that. I've dreamed of being a father ever since I was just a kid myself. So I decided that no matter what it took I was going to be in that child's life and experience the joy of being called "DAD".

So began the toughest and most heart retching fight of my life (up to that point anyway). I had no clue what I was doing, how could I bring someone to court when I can't even find them and I technically had no rights to the child at that point. I couldn't afford an attorney at that time. I worked full time at Subway. I could barely afford rent, so I did the only thing I could do at the time...I Googled and watched Youtube videos. I became familiar with the process.

It was only a couple months until she left her husband again and moved back to our home town. I tried so hard to just be civil, to offer to help her out with whatever she needed for the baby, to drive her to the appointments. ANYTHING just for the opportunity to be there when my child was born. It worked! I was able to be in the hospital to witness the miracle of my first child being born. Nobody from my family was allowed to be there with me, no support system. Just alone with my exes family who had no intentions of letting me stick around.

As I held my baby girl in my arms for the first time experiencing this perfect moment I had fought so hard for, my baby girls grandma came unglued! She saw how happy I was and decided to put a stop to it right then and there. "I can't stand you, your just a loser who's going nowhere with his life. You're a liar and a thief and a lowlife and I don't want you here!! Nurse!!" She screamed. Several nurses came running down the hall way. They had heard raised voices and they don't stand for that kind of thing in the maternity ward. "Momma needs to rest and feel safe" is their mindset as it should be.

When they got to the room I was still sitting quietly in the chair holding my daughter. I hadn't spoken a word the entire time. I just sat there quietly soaking in the moment. That's all I got was that moment. My exes family all sided together and claimed I was the one making trouble, and I was kicked out immediately. No investigation, no questions asked. That would be the last time I saw my baby girl for well over a year. My name wasn't even put on the birth certificate. That's how fatherhood began for me, but it's not how it would end.